
When I speak of "Running from the Chase"
it's equivalent to "Running from the LOVE", not any love, but the LOVE. Have "YOU" ever thought about how you, were fine, when you were just hangin and chillin with the gurls / fellows...just kickin it. I mean "YOU" were just trippin, profilin and high stylin...you're NOT in no ""relationship" per se, you're just enjoying life. Then ALL of a sudden...it happens, "YOU" meet that special someone. The one THAT makes' you change your mind, about relationships and stuff. In the beginnning 'e'verythang's cool. I mean "YOU"RE" loving it. He / She sweatin "YOU" too. When she goes to the bedroom he's right behind her, cause "HE's" got her back. When he calls she dis ALL of her gurlfriends, cause "SHE's" gon stand by her MAN. Then approximately 3 to 9 months later, something happens...."We become instinctively aware of our vulnerabilities, once placed in each other's presence. We become aware of the brokeness inside and the need for completeness = WHOLENESS of self."
That's when "HE" start saying - Man forget "HER", she's crazy.
That's when "SHE" start saying - Gurl, "HE" ain't no MAN.
They both can see the MIRROR on the outside, but subconsciously or maybe consciously can't or refuses to LQQK on the inside of the mirror.
So the relationship has 1 of 3 rouths to travel.
1. Play it to Fake it = They play pretend that ALL is good and NEVER bring the issues to the table. As long as they have a Gurl / Boaz, e'verythang cool..
2. Confront the DRAMA = They bring the issues to the table, but that's when the "Name n Blame Game" starts. It's when "ghetto fallacious" - an isolated group, attempting to deceive or mislead communication begins.
3. StarBUCK moment = They bring the issues to the table and use good communication skills. It's when one refuses to belittle, attack or accuse another's actions.
It's a PROCESS, but if "YOU"RE" a FastTrack learner, it's possible to learn in "YOUR" right now relationship or the next one, you're blessed with.
1. "YOU" must KNOW and UNDERSTAND who you are.
"YOU" must come to LOVE and ACCEPT you.
"YOU" must be willing to do the work, of changing and strengthening your areas, of weaknesses or deficients.
2. Take the "Focus" off the outside of "YOU".
LQQK deep at "YOU", especially on the inside.
Understand, that "YOU", matter too.
3. Change what "YOU" can, accept what you can't.
Become "YOUR" best "Gurlfriend" / "MalePal".
Find "YOUR" passion.
4. Get a LIFE.
You may need to kick "YOUR" computer to the curb.
Give of "YOURSELF" to the helpless.
When "YOU" do give, only give what you have.
(You can't give an Apple, if you don't have an apple).
If "YOU" don't LOVE yourself truly and completely,
don't give away the little LOVE that you do have.
5. Forgive "YOURSELF" for playing the dumb, playing the fool and for crying...see 'me', "I'm the VICTIM".
Release the PAIN - surrender (FORGIVENESS) and LOVE the hurt away.
If it's NOT healing "YOU", get it go.
6. Guard "YOUR" heart, with the LOVE of self.
Know "YOUR" limitations and "YOU" set your boundaries.
Never COMPROMISE on solid foundations.
7. Test "YOUR" healing.
If "YOU" start feeling sick again, go back in the hospital. Open "YOUR" heart to receive "HIS" / "HER" love.
Enjoy "YOUR" new relationship.
It's the gift that GOD wanted you to have ALL the time.
LoveUnity
P.S. Things "YOU" need to understand:
IMPORTANT: Please KNOW that 2 sick persons in a "relationship" are infectious and toxic;
......can't HELP one another.
......will CONTINUE to cycle the illness.
......without an ANTIBIOTIC will cause the other to DIE
Intimate Communication - involves the willingness to share one's vulnerabilities, fears and anger. The willingness to allow and to trust the other, with this knowledge. It mean removing the "Walls of Protection".
Throughout this process, one will proceed with......
Limitless Honesty - involves sharing the hidden secret of the heart, it requires a "Commitment Trust", which is a Promise NEVER to violate the issues being revealed, throughout the life of the relationship.
So the bottom line:
Write the Vision and make it plain.
Test the Vision
Live the Vision
Trust GOD to perfect = to make perfect the Vision.
Example: Taking issue to the table.....
Understanding "HER" boundaries / limitations. If #3 is violated, "YOU" are at a crossroad.
1. Staying out ALL night.
2. Infildelity
3. Lack of TRUST
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Understanding "HIS" boundaries / limitations. If #3 is violated, "YOU" are at a crossroad.
1. Spending to much money.
2. Refusing to KEEP sexually appease.
3. Infildelity
O.K., now that the 3 most important issues are on the table.
Each party admits, if neither issue is a problem for "HIM" or "HER" to deal with at this point in "HIS" or "HER" life at this presence moment.
O.K., so "SHE" comes front and center and admits.
Spending to much money, yes I've had issues with this one in my past relationships. Then "SHE" share 3 lessons that were learned from her choice to spend to much money.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
O.K., so "HE" comes front and center and admits.
Staying out ALL night, yes I've had issues with this one in my past relationships. Then "HE" share 3 lessons that were learned from his choice to stay out all night.
Then deal with # 2, then #3 and from the KNOWLEDGE gained, they are EMPOWERED to make an intelligent choice.
#1. Problem in relationships: Not understanding that lying DESTROYS trust.
Work with the weaknesses.
Praise the strengths
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Keeping a Relationship...requires "Intimate Communication" - a process by which very personal or private information is exchanged between individuals to enhance the INTIMACY of their relationship.
Keeping a Relationship...requires "Limitless Honesty" - implies an unbounds refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way.
Keeping a Relationship...requires "Commitment Trust" - to pledge to commit or place TRUST in one's care and staying TRUE to an agreement, pledge or vow with HONOR.
So, "Running from the Chase / LOVE", is refusing to do the WORK required to receive a "Healthy Relationship".
If "YOU" read this in it's entirety......GOD's blessings
Or to a man that can show you the true meaning of love and willing to work hard to get you the finer things in life? I would rather be embraced in "Love" and "Marriage", i.e. holy matrimony with a Man that has "INTEGRITY - firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values " 1. When a Man has integrity, he will be MORE than willing to work together, in our relationship to ensure that our "LOVE" is as equally satisfying for the both of "US". 2. When a Man has integrity, he will be MORE than willing to write the Vision and make it plain, without waking up one morning with a NEW vision that doesn't include, nor consider, whether it's in the best interest of our marriage or relationship. i.e. exercising his clear understanding of the IMPORTANT of COMMUNICATION and COMMITMENT. 3. When a Man has integrity, he will be MORE than willing to take ownership of his position as the leader of his home. i.e. he is the "Spiritual, Financial and Emotional overseer" for his wife and family. 4. When a Man has integrity, he will be MORE than willing to take on the responsibility and accountability of the WORDS that comes from his mouth. 5. When a Man has integrity, he will display NO hidden agendas... i.e. 'keeping secrets', 'telling lies' or 'making 'me' the lesser of his priorities'. i.e. He will display the 3 most important character traits such as: HONESTY, HUMLIITY and a HARD WORKER......, to add favor to the "Love Connection", would be for him to be "Humorous" and "Handsome". 6. When a Man has integrity, he will be MORE than willing to share information concerning his comings and goings, with his wife or significant other, because he's intelligent enough to KNOW that 'crime against persons' doesn't just affect females only. 7. When a Man has integrity, he will be MORE than willing to ADMIT to himself and KNOW, within the deepest part of his heart..., when GOD has gifted HIM with a gift, in his wife and celebrate that KNOWLEDGE. Or if she's his "Significant Other", HE will ManUP and make the decision to make her his wife !!! ***Understanding that 7 is the number of COMPLETE. Yes, just give 'me' a MAN with INTEGRITY !!!